{"id":343,"date":"2015-11-09T12:27:30","date_gmt":"2015-11-09T10:27:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.poeziedemama.com\/?p=343"},"modified":"2025-02-12T13:45:12","modified_gmt":"2025-02-12T11:45:12","slug":"mama-tu-cand-te-gandesti-la-moarte-ce-spui","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.poeziedemama.com\/?p=343","title":{"rendered":"C\u00e2inele alb"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_344\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-344\" style=\"width: 244px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.poeziedemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/the-prayer-1907.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-344 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/www.poeziedemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/the-prayer-1907-244x300.jpg\" alt=\"the-prayer-1907\" width=\"244\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.poeziedemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/the-prayer-1907-244x300.jpg 244w, https:\/\/www.poeziedemama.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/the-prayer-1907.jpg 800w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 244px) 100vw, 244px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-344\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">The prayer 1907, Br\u00e2ncu\u0219i<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Zilele trecute b\u0103ie\u021belul meu s-a \u00eent\u00e2lnit cu un c\u00e2ine alb, mare. C\u00e2t el de mare. S-au privit c\u00e2teva momente, de \u00eemprietenire, dar c\u00e2nd c\u00e2inele a vrut s\u0103 se joace cu el, s-a speriat \u0219i a reac\u021bionat instinctiv ca o pisic\u0103, a pufnit \u0219i a scuipat, apoi a fugit c\u0103tre mine, \u00een bra\u021bele mele, s\u0103 caute alinare. \u201eNu-i nimic, a spus el, am spus \u0219i eu. Te-ai speriat, c\u00e2inele a vrut doar s\u0103 se joace cu tine! Ne exprim\u0103m prin cuvinte&#8230; Ne exprim\u0103m prin cuvinte, a repetat copilul de doi ani jumate.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eCe ironie, m\u0103 g\u00e2ndeam\u201d! La v\u00e2rsta c\u00e2nd \u00eel \u00eenv\u0103\u021b pe copilul meu s\u0103-\u0219i exprime st\u0103rile prin cuvinte, eu tocmai am \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat c\u00e2t de pu\u021bine se pot exprima cu ajutorul lor \u0219i, c\u00e2teodat\u0103, c\u00e2t de gre\u0219it! \u0218i parc\u0103 re\u00eencep o lupt\u0103, c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eentorc de unde am plecat, de la s\u0103rile primordiale, de fric\u0103, furie, foame, frig \u0219i c\u0103, pentru fiecare, trebuie s\u0103 g\u0103sesc un echivalent material, o form\u0103 exterioar\u0103 prin care s\u0103 exprim acea stare. \u0218i nici m\u0103car nu \u0219tiu sigur ce stare este, dac\u0103 exist\u0103 cu adev\u0103rat un echivalent exterior, dac\u0103 o exprim pe de-a-ntregul. De pild\u0103, cum se poate face diferen\u021ba \u00eentre spaim\u0103, fric\u0103, team\u0103, temere? \u0218i cum s\u0103-i fac \u00een\u021belese celui mic, \u00een momentul c\u00e2nd tr\u0103ie\u0219te astfel de st\u0103ri, nuan\u021bele? El spune c\u0103 e speriat de motoare \u0219i de ma\u0219ina de g\u0103urit, eu \u00eei spun \u00een g\u00e2nd c\u0103 am o spaim\u0103 fa\u021b\u0103 de moarte. Nu mi-e fric\u0103, dar m\u0103 \u00eensp\u0103im\u00e2nt\u0103, mai ales c\u00e2nd \u00eel privesc pe el \u0219i m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc la mine c\u0103 n-a\u0219 mai fi sau c\u0103 el n-ar mai fi. \u00cens\u0103 nu m\u0103 \u00eentreab\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103. \u0218i de acest lucru mi-e fric\u0103, de c\u00e2nd m\u0103 va \u00eentreba. Poate cuvintele sunt acei c\u00e2ini albi, mari, prieteno\u0219i \u00een aparen\u021b\u0103, dar fa\u021b\u0103 de care am o fric\u0103 ascuns\u0103. V\u0103d cu c\u00e2t\u0103 u\u0219urin\u021b\u0103 unii oameni se \u00eemprietenesc cu ei, socializeaz\u0103, se completeaz\u0103 chiar. Eu cu greu reu\u0219esc o apropiere. \u0218i dac\u0103 reu\u0219esc s\u0103 exprim starea ce cu adev\u0103rat m\u0103 locuie\u0219te \u00een interior, nu m\u0103 pot bucura de g\u00e2ndul reu\u0219itei, dimpotriv\u0103. Simt c\u0103 ceea ce am adus la suprafa\u021b\u0103, ceea ce am dezgropat, nu-mi mai apar\u021bine, nu mai pot recupera sau trage \u00eend\u0103r\u0103t, \u00een ad\u00e2ncuri. \u0218i c\u0103 pu\u021bini oameni \u0219tiu \u0219i practic\u0103 scufundatul \u00een ad\u00e2nc, ca s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleag\u0103. Sigur, e nevoie de echipament special, nu prea mult \u0219i sofisticat, dar, totu\u0219i&#8230;Chiar dac\u0103 nu ar fi vorba de al\u021bii \u0219i a\u0219 r\u0103m\u00e2ne numai la mine, tot nu \u0219tiu cum a\u0219 avea curajul s\u0103 cobor mereu \u00een ad\u00e2ncuri, s\u0103 caut acea parte adev\u0103rat\u0103 pe care s-o exprim \u0219i s\u0103 o confrunt cu vizibilul, cu exteriorul. C\u0103 de cele mai multe ori nu se potrive\u0219te.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Cu at\u00e2t mai dificil mi se pare acest proces c\u00e2nd \u00eencerci s\u0103-l practici cu propriii copii. Cum ar fi dac\u0103 a\u0219 t\u0103cea l\u00e2ng\u0103 ei tot timpul \u0219i dac\u0103 nu a\u0219 c\u0103uta pentru fiecare stare, pentru fiecare lucru o denumire, o \u00een\u0219iruire de litere, de sunete? \u00cen graiul din satul de munte, unde eu am crescut, nu existau multe cuvinte spuse pentru c\u0103 nu existau prea multe st\u0103ri sau obiecte \u00een jur. \u0218i dac\u0103 existau, nu se numeau. Mai mult se muncea \u0219i se t\u0103cea. A gr\u0103i, cum se spune la noi, \u00eensemna un efort \u00een plus, iar cum acolo munca parc\u0103 nu mai \u00eenceta&#8230;oamenii erau mai obi\u0219nui\u021bi cu t\u0103cerea dec\u00e2t cu vorba. De unde \u0219i: \u201evorba mult\u0103, s\u0103r\u0103cia omului\u201d.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Noi, copiii, petreceam mai mult timp cu noi \u00een\u0219ine, printre noi, nu cu adul\u021bii \u0219i aveam o altfel de limb\u0103, a noastr\u0103. Cred c\u0103 aceast\u0103 atmosfer\u0103 m-a salvat, mi-a salvat limbajul interior \u0219i de aceea vreau ca acum, cu propriul copil, pe c\u00e2t posibil, s\u0103 tac mai mult dec\u00e2t s\u0103 vorbesc. A privi trenurile \u00een fiecare zi poate fi un exerci\u021biu bun de t\u0103cere \u00een doi. C\u00e2te momente nu sunt, \u00eens\u0103, c\u00e2nd trebuie s\u0103 corect\u0103m, sa spunem cum se st\u0103 la mas\u0103, cum trebuie s\u0103 ne comport\u0103m \u00een public, cum vorbim cu ceilal\u021bi, cum ne exprim\u0103m&#8230; prin cuvinte anumite st\u0103ri, nu prin lovituri sau mu\u0219c\u0103turi, a\u0219a cum fac instinctiv copiii \u0219i adul\u021bii, uneori \u0218i iar ajungem la cuvinte. La cele spuse. La aceste \u201ecorecturi\u201d din afar\u0103, la cum trebuie s\u0103 ne disciplin\u0103m.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00cenv\u0103\u021b\u0103m copiii c\u0103 exist\u0103 reguli, norme \u0219i c\u0103 avem cuvinte potrivite pentru fiecare dintre acestea, ca mai t\u00e2rziu, ca adul\u021bi, s\u0103 ne d\u0103m seama c\u0103 multe din acestea sunt balasturi pe care le arunc\u0103m peste bord, uzate fiind, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 avem niciun fel de garan\u021bie, dac\u0103 ne-au folosit, dac\u0103 au folosit la ceva. P\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103, \u00een fa\u021ba spaimei ne acomod\u0103m mai bine cu greutatea t\u0103cerii dec\u00e2t cu greutatea cuvintelor. Spunea \u0219i Nichita o vorb\u0103: <em>\u0219i-atunci m\u0103 apropii de pietre \u0219i tac<\/em>\/<em>iau cuvintele \u0219i le arunc \u00een mare&#8230;<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">C\u00e2nd simt c\u0103 m\u0103 risipesc prin prea multe cuvinte, c\u0103 am prea multe st\u0103ri \u0219i prea pu\u021bine vorbe pentru ele, \u00eemi \u00eentreb la r\u00e2ndul meu mama, care \u0219i-a p\u0103strat graiul de munte: <em>mam\u0103, tu c\u00e2nd te g\u00e2nde\u0219ti la moarte, ce spui?<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u201eIo nu spui nimnic, c\u0103 n-am timp s\u0103 m\u0103 g\u00e2nesc la din astea. \u0218-apoi, odat\u0103 \u0219-odat\u0103, t\u0103\u021b merem une trebuie s\u0103 merem. Nu vez, \u0219\u00ee moartea asta \u00eei ca via\u021ba&#8230;s\u0103 pr\u0103vale peste tine, parc\u0103 mai po\u021b spune ceva!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Zilele trecute b\u0103ie\u021belul meu s-a \u00eent\u00e2lnit cu un c\u00e2ine alb, mare. C\u00e2t el de mare. S-au privit c\u00e2teva momente, de \u00eemprietenire, dar c\u00e2nd c\u00e2inele a vrut s\u0103 se joace cu el, s-a speriat \u0219i a reac\u021bionat instinctiv ca o pisic\u0103, a pufnit \u0219i a scuipat, apoi a fugit c\u0103tre mine, \u00een bra\u021bele mele, s\u0103 caute&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[123,12,121,124,122,125],"class_list":["post-343","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articole","tag-colectiv","tag-copil","tag-cuvinte","tag-mama","tag-moarte","tag-teama"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poeziedemama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/343","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poeziedemama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poeziedemama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poeziedemama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poeziedemama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=343"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.poeziedemama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/343\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1272,"href":"https:\/\/www.poeziedemama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/343\/revisions\/1272"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.poeziedemama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=343"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poeziedemama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=343"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.poeziedemama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=343"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}